The Weird Friends Fan Club Read online

  Monday 8th April

  ERIN

  “It gives me great pleasure to call to order the first official meeting of the all new Weird Friends Fan Club!” I announced to clapping.

  “Shouldn’t I have said that?” asked Grace. “No? OK. I mean, you did a great job too.” (I looked at her.) “Really? Is this another example of me doing that thing? Well, OK.”

  “Anyway,” I continued, addressing the group of Nic, Liz, Chloe, Sylvie, Brianna, Si Adoki and Nick Brooker. “Today we are going to discuss how we do this writing group: you can ask any questions, and then we will set ourselves a short story writing exercise that we can all discuss next week.”

  “It’s all about the planning, isn’t it?” said Liz. “That’s what I heard.”

  “Well, some writers work that way,” I replied.

  “No, no, don’t plan,” said Nic. “You can plan too much. Don’t fence yourself in. It’s like that saying, ‘If you want to make God laugh, tell him your plans’.”

  “That’s crazy,” responded Chloe. “God can watch any YouTube prank videos he wants. He doesn’t need my plans.” Si Adoki and Brianna laughed.

  “OK. Let’s get back on track,” I said. Everyone looked at me. Nick Brooker even smiled. I smiled back and also kind of squinted. Damn.

  “Do you think they have YouTube in heaven though?” asked Chloe.

  “Oh my god, your hamster babies are so cute…”

  Honestly, diary – I’m not even exaggerating. That’s what everyone wanted to talk about.

  “People, there are writing competitions that we need to enter and prepare for,” chided Grace.

  “Can I write about my hamster?”

  “Is everyone going to write about hamsters?”

  Although, to be fair, this is almost exactly how I always imagined a Year Nine literary discussion would go: veering off on to loads of tangents…

  But what a fun lunchtime.

  ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS

  Massive thanks to Kirsty Stansfield, Suzy Jenvey, Lindsey Fraser, Kathryn Ross, Kate Wilson, Catherine Stokes, Fiona Scoble, Nicola Theobald, Tom Bonnick, Rebecca Mason, Julia Kathro, Lauren Fairgrieve, Karen O’Leary and everyone at Nosy Crow, who have been so fantastic. And also thank YOU for reading.

  COPYRIGHT

  First published in the UK in 2019 by Nosy Crow Ltd

  The Crow’s Nest, 14 Baden Place, Crosby Row,

  London SE1 1YW, UK

  Nosy Crow and associated logos are trademarks and/or registered

  trademarks of Nosy Crow Ltd

  Text © Catherine Wilkins, 2019

  Cover illustration © Joel Holland, 2019

  The right of Catherine Wilkins to be identified as the author of this work has been asserted by her in accordance with the Copyright, Designs and Patents Act 1988.

  All rights reserved

  1 3 5 7 9 10 8 6 4 2

  A CIP catalogue record for this book is available from the British Library

  This book is sold subject to the condition that it shall not, by way of trade or otherwise, be lent, hired out or otherwise circulated in any form of binding or cover other than that in which it is published. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means (electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording or otherwise) without the prior written permission of Nosy Crow Ltd.

  Printed and bound in Great Britain by Clays Ltd, Elcograf S.p.A.

  Typeset by Tiger Media

  Papers used by Nosy Crow are made from wood grown in

  sustainable forests.

  ISBN: 978 1 78800 536 4

  eISBN: 978 1 78800 590 6

  www.nosycrow.com